What are you putting out there?
‘Where?’ you ask,
Out in the Universe!!! Words about yourself in the form of thoughts, what you say to others or even pushing away compliments and good feedback all impact our action and the reality we create for ourselves. In psychology we draw on a theory called social constructionism to understand our perception of the world. Social constructionism is about all of us having a different reality due to our context, background, culture but also beliefs, thoughts and if we take this a step further to consider a more universal laws concept such as manifesting and law of attraction we can see that by having thoughts we are actually constructing our reality.
With that in mind, have you listened to what you say not just in your head but out loud to people??
Now I talk., write and reflect a lot on the things we say about ourselves internally, in our inner dialogue but have started to notice a lot more what I say to others about myself. In Britain we know that being modest, humble, well downright self deprecating it’s a skill we have all honed and seem to appreciate in one another. You must have heard people say, oh shes so modest! Or he has no idea how good looking he is! Well you know what I say why???? Why do we need to put ourselves down?
When we say words we are also listening to what were saying to others, all the time constructing our identity so every time you bat that compliment away, saying ‘oh I don’t know about that!’ , every time you say I don’t think I can…. Im not great at…. And the thing Is we often do this because we’re embarrassed that we are actually good at something!
If we keep rejecting the good that will be what occurs through our actions and soon enough our lives may be depleted of the things we want, not through them being taken away necessarily but by our lack of belief that we deserve them, you may be too afraid to go for that promotion, to message the guy, to wear that outfit, to own who you are in all your greatness.
Saying you're not that great isn’t going to make that other person feel better, how often when you admire them and hear them say oh its nothing do you feel better?? Of course not, it doesn’t work that way, so why not just own it! If someone has given you good feedback take it! With modesty sure, with humility and gratitude but with appreciation and a belief it is the truth.... so that when you look around at the life you have created for yourself it truly reflects you, what you want and deserve.